Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
