everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I lost the right to judge tonight
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
