sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
