Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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