yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
