That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
