another moral hangover. fuck.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
