I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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