i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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