Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my liver is dry heaving
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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