I got chris browned last night
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
