I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
