Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize