her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
