life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
