$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I will be naked everywhere
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
