White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
