The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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