I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
