Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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