Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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