My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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