We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
