this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
