I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
