too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
