i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
