i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
