addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
