I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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