Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
