do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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