We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
