My first STD was from a foam party
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
