Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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