I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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