Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
