i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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