I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
