i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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