Me too!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
