Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize