Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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