I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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