so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Shame - the story of my life.
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