Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize