I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
