thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize