Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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