I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
