in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
