What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
