Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just sent this text using only my big toe
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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