Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
