5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
