That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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