She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do vagina's smell?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
