Farmville is her only friend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
