WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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