How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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