He passed out mid-signature
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
