no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
